Kodak. Remember that company? It’s the one that ruled and dominated the photographic environment for decades. What is it now? Gone. All we have are its “Kodak moments”.
I realize this is a bummer starter but it most fits what’s happened to my photographic world. There was a time when it dominated everything. I couldn’t even go outside without a camera, always waiting for the right shot, quite frankly missing the realtime happening because I was too focused on documenting it for its Kodak appeal later. This doesn’t keep in mind the many elements it took to secure an actual model for erotic and nude photography which eventually became too much. What I mean simply is, it got too expensive to hire out models to photograph for the return financially (especially with a growing family) and it became too overwhelming serving the so called “real women” of the world who most often had body issues they couldn’t hide as easily as the models. The whole thing just became a turn off. It’s sad. I’m not happy about it but I had to admit there was a problem because I noticed overtime I was avoiding bookings and photo ops.
While I still consider myself a photographer, at this point in time I’m claiming “painter” as the title of the artistic flow spewing from within out onto the manifest world and the photographer just somehow got fed up, turned off, overwhelmed and disinterested from the entire over competition of creating something beautiful and eye-popping out of reality. With the domination of the Smartphone cameras, everyone is a photographer and when everyone is x-something, I move on elsewhere. So, the photography road with Tumblr, Instagram, Pintrest and you fill in the rest is a very busy one. I don’t like crowds. If you can’t path it, trail it.
Quite frankly, there’s a lot of really good sensual and erotic photography out there right now that I don’t even see a definite place for my photographic style to pursue with fervor and to get better will require more effort and this effort will take time away from bettering the painter. See the problem? I am one woman with too many hats and talents. ON LIMITED TIME! It’s not a complaint but it does have behind the scenes weight. It was an awful choice, very painful, difficult and sad but I finally let the photographer go… you know, not fully but like a good love affair gone distant just because life moved us that way. Who knows. Maybe Facebook’s hypothetical future “Photobook” will reconnect us.
As an artist my goal is always to grow and to move beyond what I’ve artistically achieved. To do this with photography, to become the kind of photographer I’d really like to be to feel satisfied with myself as one, I’d have to put in more effort than the payback is worth at this time in my life.
I’ve found that my most interesting talent is with the paintbrush and this needs more exploration. Not taking the opportunity would be an insult to my DNA, to my core self.
The photography I’ve done, I will repackage it into some capitalist opportunity in the future that will benefit both me and my audience so it’s not a total elimination but I don’t intend to continue photographing as passionately as I have in the past until I wear the nudity out of my paintings first. And I no longer do any kind of private hire boudoir photography unless you really convince me.
One never knows truly what the future holds but I felt an explanation was needed as to what’s happened to the photography because I know many of my followers were originally hooked on that artistic road with me, some along for the ride maybe 10 years! While I don’t want to disappoint any one group, I have to follow the yellow brick road because if little else, it leads to Truth. As always, I am grateful for those who stick around to seek it with me.
More paintings to follow!
Update next day: The irony. The morning after writing this I was notified by the International Color Awards for photography that one of my submitted photographs had been nominated for the “fashion” category win. While I didn’t get first place, I am among a few of the final nominees. That’s pretty awesome and very unexpected. Last year I received a similar honor for “The Red Chair” and “Masked Man” by the International Master’s Cup Photography competition. Like I said, one never knows what the future holds. Crazy timing.