Remembering a princess

15 years ago today, Princess Diana died. I’ll never forget that day because it was the day I realized we are all equally human.

Princess Diana has inspired me many times, mostly for her courage and authentic expression of love. The summer of 1997 was memorable: first, the fashion world lost Giani Versace, then Princess Diana and lastly, Mother Theresa. Positively influential and authentic people they were.

We do have choice, by the way, in how we are remembered.

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Turning disability around

Here’s a very inspiring story about a quadriplegic turned model, years after a car accident paralyzed her and killed a friend. She’s currently working with Nordstrom. Story here.

After my accident, the thought of modeling didn’t even cross my mind,” the now-37-year-old told People Magazine. “But what did occur to me was that I had been transported to the realm of the paralyzed for a reason. I realized I had a huge choice to make: to go down the positive path, be an example for others in similar positions and be a voice.”

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New Art: “Centered”

I grabbed black and ended up with something unexpected.

“Centered”, acrylic on canvas, 50x70cm (19.7″x27.6″)

This painting began weeks ago after a drought of creativity.  I painted a sun with grass.  I wanted nothing but the yellow to flood my eyes.  Once I had my artificial dose of Vitamin Sun, I put it away.  My 6-year-old loved it so much she painted her own version.  Mine though, just sat there and I’ve been too busy with words and back to school prep to have had time to pick up a brush.  But the Hashimoto’s takes its toll unexpectedly while I find ways to cope.

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Blue sheep

Yeah, so I was counting sheep last night and whoa! look what’s on the Kurhaus lawn!

Okay, so I wasn’t counting sheep. I was too exhausted to count to ten but the blue sheep are real. I dont know details but it’s part of an art project/exhibit where the sheep are photographed in various cities and I’ll get back with you on exactly why.

I thought you’d enjoy the blue sheep though. Wiesbaden is always full of surprises.

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Ahhh…

I had a breakthrough in therapy. It happened through a compilation of small aha moments over the past weekend which created a beautiful tapestry of “I GET it!”.

Ahhh…. that’s all, just ahhh….

Oh, and a smile!

“Swimming through SpaceTime” by Tatiana von Tauber

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Summer’s perfect moment

I want to share this fabulous summer photo I took today, which may or may not remind you of childhood and those incredibly wonderful memories of crowded public pools, bikinis and taking the unforgettable dives!

Wiesbaden’s Kleinfeldchen pool

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Feminine Superheros

I absolutely LOVE this magazine spread  by W Mag with Linda Evangelista, my all time favorite supermodel from the authentic days of supermodels.

Linda Evangelista for W Magazine

Of course Photoshop makes her look like a doll for the closeups and one couldn’t tell the difference between her youthful photos of the 90s versus her 47-year-old current self and this is of course, disheartening.  However, let’s focus on the good side. These photos are reminiscent of modern femininity translated as feminine sexuality and heroism.  “You’ve come a long way baby” gets taken to the next level with each generation of women.

The photos depict a woman (Linda) as a modern-day superhero and rightfully so.  Modern day women ARE in fact superheros with little power than their brains and their sex; and most women do in fact use both brains and sexuality to get what they want.  Some call it motherhood, others call it career.

Be a politician, an artist or a porn star, you can’t become a “star” unless you have a brain.  Sex alone cannot give you success, power or happiness.  It can take you to the door but there’s a lot more behind it.  Many women will knock the idea of using one’s sexuality for gain but truthfully, it guarantees little in the end so it’s a useless debate and judgment.  Longevity of superheroism is created by the character within the gendered body, not necessarily through the body’s use.

This photo spread is art.  Absolutely gorgeous in every way.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2188866/Linda-Evangelista-goes-naked-latex-bodysuit-superhero-inspired-shoot.html

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Seeing Stars

Sometimes a creative project involves something as simple as going out on the town with an Iphone camera.

My husband calls this photographer’s pose, “The Iphone Bend”. Great, isn’t it?

And, while in that pose, I saw stars.

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Dealing with Dwelling in 6 steps

Today is one of those days where my mind is chaotic and I have to focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Sometimes it’s tough to see, feel or understand the fine line between thinking or analyzing a problem and dwelling on it. I suppose it becomes a dwelling type of situation when you can’t stop thinking about it and over time it becomes an addiction of sorts, or more simply, a habit of behavior or being that brings negative results.  To your left is a section of my dream board and this is currently my focus; specifically, the solution/problem bit.

I don’t have solutions when I fall into some problematic situations like today and yet I refuse to dwell. On tough days the only way out are my 6 steps to awareness and recovery.

My daily survival kit – when the Hashimoto’s seems to take over (or, was it the morning get out of bed or we’ll be late anxiety attack?) – is honest and personal. I’m not the only one who suffers from downward spirals due to medical challenges or the weights of family and so I hope sharing my steps for gaining control helps others.  And don’t knock the Nazi thing til you try it.

So this is how I deal and it works:

1. Become aware of emotional spiral. (try not to use words like “ fuck, I did it again” and save those words for the bedroom)

2. Feel and let go of the moment once awareness is made. It’s similar to feeling and letting go of a good yet painful stretch in yoga. You have to go through it to feel it to move past it. This combo between awareness and letting the emotion flow through stops the self-abusive words from flying in the head. Just breathe – as in yoga.

3. Remember that the Nazis kept the strong eyed and strong-willed alive in their lineups and thus, as evidence, this was how my step-grandmother survived the concentration camp, Auschwitz, she said. If she could survive hell we can all survive a spiraled moment.

Thinking of the Nazis usually does it but if not, I continue with…

4. Take a deep breath to consider who to call for help and whether or not it’s necessary. When I think of a friend the slip isn’t too bad and I revert back to #1 or call that friend. If this doesn’t work or when I think of my psychologist, I know the battle has hit the tipping point and will require a 100% devotion to new thoughts or actions immediately.

5. As though that realization plays the Nazi in my face, I gather up the courage to change what’s necessary at that moment to interrupt the slippery slope of what feels like insanity but is really a reaction to reality. Okay. Reality, insanity, same thing. I won’t argue.

6. Write, paint, get dressed and go outside with my camera, take a shower, jump up and down, think about The Art Cure ladies… anything necessary to keep the “Nazi” away.

If all of the above fails, I call my psychologist… but this morning I didn’t have to. I pulled out of an emotionally exhausting morning by taking the steps above.  This very writing refocused my mind and allowed a different perspective which dropped the anxiety and offered the driver’s seat and keys back to me.

Then, just as I finished this state of calming down, I received a telephone call from a long time friend which brightened up my day some more by throwing in an extra reminder there’s another reason to be grateful for the good that’s in my life when I look.

The steps above helped give me control over my day and the choice for one with positive footing takes focused intent, otherwise the problems take over.  If this happens, go back to # 1 and follow the steps again.  They work with practice.

On to a creative project I go…

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Last Days of Summer

Sitting in the grass on a summer’s day I kicked my ballerinas off and took in the views. I went for a walk with my husband in the park behind the Kurhaus.  Though it stretches on for a couple of miles as a rough estimate, it’s worth the walk especially to soak in the season before the next appears.

I love the photo of the woman with the dog. It was one of those photos where I saw her coming and waited for the right moment: snap! (Okay, with the digital age it was more like snap, snap, snap and hope for the best!), but the light is stunning and I’m thrilled to have captured the summer grandeur here in Wiesbaden.

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