Alessandra Bosco is a military wife with sex appeal and a whole lot of cleavage. To support the U.S. troops she published a calendar of herself for the boys in Iraq (read why here). The photos are Maxim-style cheese sexy (men like that, can’t figure out why); no topless pics, full nudity or porn. So why is Alessandra Bosco harassed by military wives who want her kicked out of their community? Well jealousy and insecurity first and foremost.
When Bosco approached my husband to photograph her for the calendar I was apprehensive, mainly in fear of a military backlash. Boy, did I hit the mark. I’ve been following this story from the announcement of its appearance in the PX to the outcries by military wives at how disgraceful the calendar is and why they don’t want such filth to be sold on military posts. Oh boy. I think these women need a little lesson in the realties of male thought.
I love men and I’ve spent an adult lifetime not only dating them but getting into their psyche. And in doing so, I give them a little leeway and a benefit of the doubt because being a man is tough business. I ain’t no G.I. Jane and never want to be. I like heels, cleavage and dresses. I’ll leave the serious, physical dirty work for the guys. I admit it; I prefer being a girl. I’ve got my own dirtywork to do and I call that motherhood and laundry and dealing with female gossip and I’m fine with that. I also understand the feminine power that makes other women criticize and categorize with defamation and so I think I know a bit about how Bosco may feel.
And really, what’s the big deal about breasts in a bikini surrounded by military gear hanging on a wall somewhere down in Iraq? Where does anyone get the nerve to disrupt a woman’s life (who happens to be a professional model) in such a way that they want her shipped out of their military community while being responsible for vandalizing her husband’s car and victimizing Bosco at her own home by ”banging on her front door and yelling abuse”? Ah, we have a serious problem here.
In defense of the men, condemning them for looking around, purchasing sexy calanders or potentially masturbating to the visual of another woman is condemning the very freedom they have as individual persons. Such high school attitudes are usually provoked by the fear that the men will find something better to look at, someone better to be with. But, why should a confident married woman be fearful her man might fall for some woman in her community because she is on a one year calendar? As one wife put it as I quote from the June 16, 08 Starts and Stripes article, “If my husband is in love with Angelina Joli I don’t care, but if he is in love with Alessandra Bosco then I have a problem because she is in my community”. Huh?! Grow up, sista!
Alessandra Bosco is married to a good looking 1st Class Sgt. and the above woman’s statement presumes that Bosco just might be interested in her guy more than her own. No, I’m sorry, that her guy could in fact become in love with Bosco! That’s not giving him a whole lot of credit, is it? Glad I’m not that husband. It also presumes that Bosco’s intents are not honorable, that she’s a potential husband stealer and slut, categorized automatically as a threat to other women. Gimmie a break.
There are so many military wives cheating on their soldier husbands that it amazes me Bosco is getting such heat. Do military wives just forget that the morals they shoot out ought to be boomeranged? Now, before I get hit, not all protesting military wives are what I’ve described but boy do I know many. By the way, the military has the highest divorce rate among couples particularly during time of deployment.
That said, the rooted anger from some of these women might just be that Ms. Bosco may in some indirect way be helping their husbands get their rocks off, whether by hand action or thought and that just irks those wives who can’t control their husband’s right of choice to purchase, fantasize or masturbate, as if their man’s penis, sexuality and Self belonged to them by default of marital status! If a woman tries to control her man then she is insecure with herself, most often in her looks which exemplifies the hatred for Ms. Bosco, and this type of control of another is a sure way to an unhappy marriage. It’s also downright immoral to attempt to control another in any way.
Further, this type of control behavior pushes men away from their wives because it says that the women they love don’t trust them. Some men are tempted and cheat but not all men. Give them some damn credit. They’re not all bad especially if the women they love support them rather than falsely accuse them or try to control their right to look or jack off – to act or think for themselves. If a relationship is equal, honest and good, then there is no need to worry about the other woman. So basically, not only do these military wives not trust their men, they don’t trust each other. Nice community I’m a part of, eh?
Worse than the attempt to control another, these women are lashing out at the very freedoms America gives. Despite GW Bush’s garbage, these guys are trying to do something good in the name of freedom and freedom includes a fight for the freedom to choose. Their lives may be on the line everyday and we don’t want to offer them a little fantasy just in case they die tomorrow? Oh! The protesters of this calendar ought to be ashamed. What they’re doing isn’t protesting a calendar; their protesting freedom itself.
The video below is superb and I found it on The Legal Satyricon. In terms of what responsibility of freedom means, this hits it on the nose. Words like these make me proud to be American but crazy, insecure and fearful military wives who show complete lack of respect not only to their country, but to the freedom their men fight for is a disgrace. If one wants to enjoy the benefits of freedom one has to be able to give it back. It doesn’t work any other way. Grow up or shut up, ladies.
*of course this isn’t to exclude the fact that women exist in the military but I’m defending the men on this one. Bosco’s husband’s commanding officer is female and I think she’s not handling the matter appropriately. Shame on the girls.
** quotes taken from Stars and Stripes article, June 16th, 2008, “Sexy calendar sparks community backlash: military spouse surprised by threats, vandalism” written by Seth Robson.
I have to agree and take parts of your blog to emphasize a point! “[Soldiers] lives may be on the line everyday…don’t [we] want to offer them a little fantasy just in case they die tomorrow”?
These men are fighting for freedom but they come home to a controlling environment. When a wife controls her husband in such a manor, it is abuse! It shows she does not trust him, enjoys him as property and she is herself hiding something, either her insecurity or her actions while he is deployed.
Cheaters often accuse others of the same to make themselves feel less shameful! They control their spouse’s actions to prevent them from having the same opportunities to cheat.
The majority of military wives I have encountered are looking for other men, dreaming of the day her spouse deploys so she may pounce! Many of my old soldiers came home, greeted by innocent cheaters. Some even had someone else’s baby on the way! Yes, the military wife is controlling because she cannot trust herself.
Those attacking this model should be removed from the military community for violating Army regulations. Do you question this? Look into EEO regulations governing acts of hate. The actions of the spouses can and will cause detrimental effects upon the SM and his career. UCMJ can take pay, invoke extra duty and process ERD paperwork, not upon the model, but those taking actions against her.
This model is within her right and is receiving acts of hate directed upon her and her spouse. The command is not doing what is required out of fear of reprisal on the commander’s OER. Shame on her and Shame on the community. No other reason for lack of action!
I will buy this calendar for I agree with the models right to produce such a product and I want to support the soldier whenever I can!
BTW, if you need it, each military community offers a gym so women, use it and give you husband something to be proud of! Time to put those damn Bonbons away!
Wow You really hit this one on the head!!! I’m an Iraq veteran still living in a military town and I can surely say you’re right on the mark. I see and hear it all the time around here, jealous wives, often cheating themselves, and especially while their hubbies are away. If anything, it’s more likely that these wives will cheat rather than the husband simply because women have more opportunity to do so in a military town. Just ask almost any Marine about the porch lights at TT2 and they’ll tell you. And let’s not forget one other “profession” in military towns, strippers, most of whom are military wives and girlfriends, and are far more “attainable” than a professional model. Think about it, if you were a husband looking to cheat, or a single guy looking to score, would you go for the “out of your league” confident model, or the sleazy pole dancer? They should be far more worried about their fellow neighbors than her.
If Alessandra’s hubby is OK with her posing in whatever manner, and she herself is faithful to him then I see no problem with it because at least she IS doing something for her husband and the troops who are serving our country, unlike the majority of the military spouses out there who just take the money and feel sorry for themselves.
Sure it’s OK for a lot of spouses to spend all those war bucks on their comforts whether their hubbies like it or not, but heaven forbid their hubbies purchase something that reminds them of what’s great about America!! Although I don’t like the movie referenced above (because of the actors in it), that particular scene is true. Last time I checked this was a free country and they are over there protecting the same rights mentioned in the clip, so shouldn’t she have the right to do something to boost the morale of those same troops?
I also like the gym and bonbon comment. There are so many women out there (my wife included) that would rather launch personal attacks on prettier or hotter women than themselves, instead of aspiring to take care of themselves in the same way. Obviously I’m not talking about them aspiring to be anorexic or bulimic, or taking any other extreme measure for beauty, but at least try to give your hubbies something good to come home to. That goes for the guys out there too, take care of yourselves and give her something nice to look at.
I also agree that there should be repercussions for the wives that are harassing her. The government pays additional money for married service members (which is obviously shared by the spouse) or at least provides housing and benefits for spouses. Even though a spouse isn’t necessarily subject to the UCMJ, the service member is, and is responsible for the conduct of his/ her spouse. For instance if I was still on active duty and someone came to my house for a “Command Visit” and my wife slammed the door in their face, then I would be subject to punishment including loss of rank and pay.
Speaking of the UCMJ, it is illegal for any service member to commit adultery, and I think there should be regulations regarding military spouses in the same manner. If a service member can have their rank and pay reduced for cheating, then I think there should also be a contractual agreement between the US Gov’t and military spouses stipulating that if they commit adultery, or are convicted of a crime, then upon divorce/ separation they have to pay the Gov’t back the full amount of any benefits (health care, legal, housing, moving expenses, travel, family separation pay or any other allowances that they have received). I think this would keep them a bit more honest, well behaved, and less tempted to cheat.
Back to the jealousy issue, it is more likely for a man to cheat if he’s constantly being accused of doing so, it’s a statistical fact. So these wives that are making such a big ordeal over this calendar, are in fact making it more likely their hubbies will look elsewhere. Also think of the embarrassment the hubbies will face when they come home. They’re just coming back from hell and just want to relax and unwind, not come home to face ridicule from their comrades for their wives actions.
One final note on military spouses (who themselves are not or have ever been service members) Contrary to popular belief and feel good catch phrases, the hardest job in the military is NOT that of the spouse. They don’t have to endure the training, day to day stress, and physical pain of our service members. They don’t have to worry about being deployed or being injured/ killed by and IED. They’re not getting shot at and having to wear all that heavy gear in 135 degree temperatures far away from home.
So give them a break if they want to have something nice to look at, or need a visual aid for some “me time” to boost their morale and cure some stress. Maybe if these spouses put as much effort into fixing themselves (mentally, emotionally and physically) then they wouldn’t have to worry so much about their hubbies cheating or at least wanting something more.
Thanks for your honest thoughts, Kris. It’s nice to hear a bit of confirmation to some of what I presented, much of it coming from talking to other soldiers and personal observation around the military bases I go to. Sometimes women are the ugliest to each other rather than supporting one another’s efforts. Jelously and shaky self-esteem being prime factors. Perhaps that is why I prefer the company of men. If women know how to respect men, I find most men tend to be more respectful of women themselves. In politics that seems to be different though. Grrr…
Best to you…I hope you get to enjoy the calander.
And TpMS, thanks for contributing too. I always enjoy your “rantful” thoughts, which most often are very true.