I’m Busy: an update

I’m feeling a little guilty for neglecting the blog and my readers but I’ve really been busy.  My personal life had two more punch you while you’re down moments.  I’m unsure if those were the first, second or last installments in the “everything comes in three’s” philosophy.  I’ve lost count.  One  downer is that I’ll no longer be writing The Adventures of an Erotic Mind column with TEW but with some afterthought I think it’s a wise move on both sides.

On an up note, I’ve been diligently working with a web developer to create my new website which will focus on my photography, primarily for a local business market.  My husband simply MUST get out of civil service with the US Army.  What goes on in the base he’s stationed at is so mind-boggling unethical that sending him to work each day makes me feel like I’m sending him to a literal hell.

While all seemed gloomy for the past few months the skies have cleared a bit and we’ve figured out how to break out of the military prison and so a photography business for us and gaining momentum in finding an art gallery for his newest work is priority.  Our dream boards this year were very focused and created a visual and written plan to make lemonade out of the bushel of lemons surrounding us.  My writing goal for the book still stands though I’m in the weeds with it now.  Time is screaming at me.

I also had a super successful photo shoot with a local model who was a lot of fun to work with.  Her photos will appear on the new site and when that goes online I’ll post an announcement, of course.  I’m keeping my chin up and working very consciously to not allow the negatives to bring me down.  So far so good.  I hope to make time to blog in the coming days.

Savana Redding Wins

 Hooray for Savana Redding, the young girl strip searched in school when she was 13 for possessing suspected ibuprofen pills, cause that’s on the same crime base as pot and coke.   I wrote about it here.

The court ruled the search was illegal.  I rather think it was common sense but schools these days don’t have much of that.  I’d like to see the school’s vice principal, Kerry Wilson who initated the search humilitated.  That’s really the best punishment  for such a bastard.  I’m pleased for Redding and hope this case will eliminate misappropriated authority in schools onto teens.

“The court’s decision sends a clear signal to school officials that they can strip search students only in the most extraordinary situations,” added her lawyer, Adam Wolf of the American Civil Liberties Union Foundation.  (source)

Fawcett Gets Her Angel Wings

Rarely am I totally knocked down when I hear a celebrity I liked has passed away.  It warmed my heart to hear she was going to marry O’Neal.  At least that, I thought.  Perhaps it was enough she said yes – finally.

I’m really, really sad about Farrah Fawcett’s death.  It’s all I can say momentarily.  I hope she gets the wings she deserves.

The Political Penis

Referring to South Carolina’s governer Mark Sanford:
Yet again the case of a woman’s blind love and a man’s biology. No offense to my male readers but I have yet to witness a man who hasn’t at some point played with infidelity. To be fair, it takes two to create that. To be realistic, a man’s love and a woman’s love may be the same in terms of actual feeling but different in terms of expression. The sooner women realize that happily ever after is an illusion the better prepared they’ll be for the reality of love relationships.   There’s always an exception to the “rule”.  Clearly though, those exceptions are rare.

Just as I empathized with Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards’ embarrassment, I feel the same for Mrs. Sanford but simutaneously, I don’t think most married men cheat for cheating sake or because they don’t love their wives.  It’s most likely because their sex life is unsatisfactory.  Love and sex for men are two separate entities women group into one ball.  Hence the continued female disappointment.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090625/ap_on_re_us/us_sc_governor_profile

Quit Surfing and Get To Work

It has been soooo difficult not blogging. I’m a total freaking addict. BUT, the withdraw has paid off. I’ve just hit my 50k mark on my eroticism book and I am psyched out excited! It needs lots of edits of course as I’ve been writing stream of consciousness bullshit but who cares?! I’ve hit the big one. The ultimate goal is 80k before I think I can really start to edit this monstrous work down into something that doesn’t sound like a rant rampage.

I’m doing good and deserve to fling myself into a few blog posts in the coming week.  I can’t even begin to express how much good stuff I’ve passed up to write about.  I go to bed at night reciting blog posts.  It’s disturbing, really.  Turning the Internet off has been very helpful in keeping focused. It’s the only way. I can rarely turn down temptation.

The Die Hard S & M Man

Maybe Emma slapped Bruce silly with love but critics seem to have their own style of S & M action on the happy actor.

“Are you embarrassed for him?”, asked Jane Velez-Mitchell of Showbiz Tonight about the upcoming W Magazine spread with Bruce Willis and his hot new wife, Emma Heming.

The CNN Showbiz Tonight panel clearly have no concept of what eroticism’s dark side is, means, looks like or attempts to offer its audience or participators.  The same applies to the concept of good photography.  Most sad, the discussion in the video is the kind of bolonga that the average American is influenced by.  It is clearly no wonder that sex is shameful, age is embarrassing and anything a little kinky is perverse. 

The video below (which unfortunately I can’t embed) has many stupid statements by three very uninformed morons but what struck me most was the comment by Ben Widdicombe, a celebrity editor at Stylelist.com:  Bruce is “way too old to be doing this.”  (Please notice Widdicombe’s receding hairline as he attempts to poke fun onto a hotter looking guy than himself.  I sense a tinge of locker-room jealousy.)   Too old to be doing what?!   Exploring life, love and sexuality?  Participating in what must have been one very interesting photo shoot with his wife? Showing of his 54 y/o body, which by the way is pretty impressive?

This S & M photo spread, styling and photography wise is phenomenal. 

Sad that provocative photography in its most excellent creative form gets thrown into the funny farm of useless opinions by people who clearly fear a taste of eroticism.  They don’t get it.  They never will.  This video clip is shameful and illustrates the insults close minded people throw out when something a little provocative comes their way: “These pictures speak loudly and they’re saying: In. Your. Face.”

Yep.  That’s right.  Boo!

Showbiz Tonight video:  http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2009/06/16/sbt.bruce.willis.cnn

Kiss of Death

From Elle Magazine sometime in the year 2000

I found this among my huge collection of tear sheets from magazines I’ve collected over the years.  I’m preparing the visuals for my dream board making this Sunday. I don’t know what month this was published in Elle Magazine but being its slant is on the new millennium, I can guess January 2000. I’ll research and try to get the exact time but the wisdom is timeless, thus such information would only serve as a credited reference.

 

 What it says:

 

…feel some kind of emotion, a sensitivity.  Being indifferent is the ultimate kiss of death,” he insists.  Lutens describes his second series of images for Elle as “sexy and sophisticated interwined with lace ans serpents.”  He loves snakes — the fake ones, that is.  “I’ve collected them for years, they fascinate me,” he says with the authority of a veteran artificer.  “The real ones frighten me.”

Snakes, he reminds us, are erotic and, in certain belief systems, were considered symbols of female power.  Inpreclassic Aegean civilizations they were considered immortal because they were believed to renew themselves indefinitely by shedding old skins.  And Lutens maintains that for the year 2000 this could be a perfect theme: “People are waiting, looking over their shoulder to catch a glimpse of what will happen in the new millenium.  Perhaps the shedding of old skins for new is an omen.  One thing is certain, people must stop following each other blindly like robots looking for trends.  They must try to be more confident, less insecure, and ready to take a stand.” 

Perhaps, after all, Serge Lutens is completely right.  The shedding of old skins, the molting of our tired millennium, may just herald the start of something entirely different.  After all, the most infamous serpent ever to have crossed our path convinced Eve to eat the forbidden apple and thereby provided her with the essential knowledge that made human beings human.  Now that’s not saying that her life was a bowl of cherries following her folly…but it was a new beginning.”

 

Atheist Intolerance

I just hate getting into religion but it’s everywhere.  I’m tolerant.  However, it irks me when I witness my child being taught to say grace during lunch at her day care.  The “thank you” poem was rather sweet and I find nothing wrong with teaching children gratitude.  However, why does gratitude always need God attached at the end?  And “Amen”?  Why can’t it just be thank you to the earth, or thank you to the farmers who grow the food and thank you to the cafeteria lady who makes it?  Why is someone indoctrinating my child with God concepts when that is way above her needs right now? 

I can create a stink about it but why?  It isn’t worth the trouble because on the surface my 3 y/o is learning gratitude.  What’s troubling is that surface thinking is merely icing on a deep, rich cake.  Those who stay on the surface never really understand the layer of flavors.

I just think that my three year old is too young to learn about God concepts when she’s still trying to get the shit in the toilet concept down.  This is where indoctrination begins, day care.  How very difficult it is being an atheist in America.

Moving on to Gendertopia

Burlington School Superintendent Jeanne Collins said no one has objected to the program [Gendertopia].

“The district has been in the forefront on this topic for at least a decade, if not longer,” Collins said. “We are very sensitive to celebrating the differences in people and accepting people for who they are and what they bring to the table.” (source)

This is fantastic news.  A tax-funded program teaching youth about gender and knocking a little realism into the homo/queer phobia we’ve seen.  I’ve got a lot of hope for this next generation if they could just be given the comprehensive information they need to make their choices.  Am I and the founder of Erotisan, Kirk, the only ones who see that we’re at the edge of a new sexual revolution?  Who can guess where it looks like it’s going?  I can.  And, that’ll be in my book, to which I’m happily announcing I’ve got 32,000 words written and it’s basic shell is complete.  Now for the meat and juice.

Huf Island: Eutopia

I’m quite sure I’d read the fine print before I signed but I could offer my soul for this unique lifestyle, “life in harmony”, as sold by the Huf family.  I’ve been in this house.  Harmony is an understatement.  Eroticism and freedom reside there: it’s Eutopia. 

More Photos:  http://swipelife.com/2009/03/22/huf-9-fachwerkhaus-2000-art-home/

Video about the Huf Haus Fachwerkhaus Art 9 technology in english: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=030TMVAAFSo

Harnessing Time

It is cool to watch hindsight. Only then does one realize that his life is a story. Be lead by fate or random occurrence, we each write, experience and live our own novel, by our thoughts, actions and meaning. The only way to allow others access to it, is to invite others into our realm of experience. No two relationships will be the same – ever. Isn’t that simply amazing?

And to look back in hindsight and see how the past created the present is to distance from the now and “reread” the story to a new endpoint. We know the true end is death but every self reflection places yet another piece of the puzzle into the big picture called life – your independent life. Are you enjoying your life story from your current endpoint?

I thought that was a good question to ask this Dream Board month:  June 21st, summer solstice.

Sugar. Oh Honey, Honey

In January :

1. I moved to a new country. I say “new” because, really, I don’t recognize what country I’m actually in. I’m adapting and trying to find its good rather than focus on its bad. 

2. I witnessed the dying days of an old woman; saw and touched my first ever dead body.

3. My family of 4 turned into 5 when my step-son, a weekend visitor, came with us to America to live.  An extra kid makes motherhood extra hard.  The family dynamics have seriously changed.

3. By January’s end I had officially been without sex, intimacy or privacy with my husband for 41 days. The drought was caused by hotel stays and sharing a room with my three sweet kids as we dealt with a military move.

4. I found the perfect house to fill our family needs on the first day of house hunting, almost gave it up because the owners were anal and then managed – on a buyer’s market and crappy economy – to give them exactly their asking price. 

5. I had collected in a matter of minutes, every color swatch at the Lowes paint department and every free brochure on every possible cool effect for walls. My house has lots of walls. I had Martha Stewart inspiration.  It died rather quickly.

 

February:

1. I moved into my new house and city, one I had once visited and said, “I’d love to live here” and boom, here I am. I have to learn to watch what I say.

2. I freaked out in a corner of a Wal-Mart bakery section when I realized that Americans don’t know shit about real bread and that I was actually shopping for dinner at Wal-Mart.  I was embarrassed and homesick.

3. The job my husband moved us here for began to pop flags of caution.  Something wasn’t quite right but I didn’t know what.

 

March:

1. I became aware that The Army’s “Beyond the Front” Suicide Prevention program triggered my husband’s PTSD, slipping him into a state I’ve never seen him before.  He self managed for years without ever it being a daunting challenge or hindrance in our lives.  The program was geared towards 100% participation, regardless of the fact that civilians and soldiers have different criteria to follow and that my husband, a civilian who excelled in Germany had no reason to be forced to participate in it.  The attempt may have been well intended to seek out potential suicide victims but apparently nobody thought of  the fact that its reality based combat imagery might harm those who have successfully overcome their battle wounds.  The program was poorly executed and my family is paying the price. For clarity, my husband is not suicidal yet there are many sides to the trauma of combat and its effects.

2. I  played Martha Stewart, planning meals, gardens and window treatments and revised my book on Eroticism as a way to escape the reality that was unfolding.

3. I dealt with the ridiculous shirt tuck in rule at school and realized reason doesn’t excuse one from it, a medical condition signed off by a doctor does. America’s common sense is dead.

4. I invested into something that simply must prove to have been an intelligent decision in my future otherwise I’ll have wasted money on attorney fees, vision and potential.

 

April:

1. My husband’s new challenges created this psychological analysis: “It would be in your best interest for you to find a new line of work”. He was handed some pills (the American way) and we have yet to hear back from the VA regarding the pathetic amount of tests he had to take in an effort to help his pain management, which was under control for as long as I’ve known him. Life since March has been hell.

2. Our combined faith and respect for the U.S. Army was severed.  It’s been hanging on a thin thread for a long time. 

3. My 3 y/o sliced her forehead when a table fell on her. It is confirmed: her skull is white beneath the blood. A run to the ER and fifteen stitches by a plastic surgeon later, my beautiful little girl has a 3″ scar that  makes her look like a miniature Frankenstein. My heart breaks every time I look at her.

4. We learned that this same 3 y/o had sleep apnea and we scheduled a T & A surgery.  The hope was that it would improve her sleeping, as she basically got no REM sleep and was hyperactive, defiant, crabby, didn’t sleep on average more than 7 to 8 hours a night since about 4 months old and ate food portions of a bird.  Good news:  she’s eating more.

5. My husband and I were lucky, if memory serves correct, to have had sex 2 or 3 times since we moved into the house 50-some days prior. Add up the 41 day drought and I think you can get the picture. 

 

May:

1. We upped the sex but not the in time, eroticism or intimacy department which basically equates to the female standard.  I blame it on the 3 y/o  who gets a propeller up her ass at bedtime and ruins every evening by defying our best parenting efforts to get her to sleep any earlier than 10 p.m. on a good day.  Doctors say the T & A surgery results will take a few weeks to show.  I’m patiently waiting.

2. I missed my best friend’s child birth.  I should have been there with her being she’s always been there for me but hey, the military’s needs always precede family.

3. The PTSD situation became more difficult, as did my husband’s job.

4. A weekend trip alone changed me. I’m still too dazed to really understand how,  but the clairty I’m slowly gaining is phenomenal.

5. My husband wants to tell the Army to kiss his ass, being they’ve done so well fucking it, and quit his job – fuck the pension and benefits. (sigh)  Figuring out how to subsidize that income has become an interesting endeavor.

 

So, in light of all of this, I regret to say that blogging has not been on my mind as all the bullshit has pretty much left me in a state of WTF?!  There really are no words but WTF, or just fuuuck!  I feel like my return to America has done little but beat me up.  I’ve been depressed for a while, or maybe so overwhelmed that I couldn’t find any good emotion other than in spurts but before I made my final edits on this piece, I realized that everything negative here could be spun into a positive perspective and then a few possible solutions began to show themsleves.  Why didn’t they appear sooner?!  Oh, probably because I always need a good ass kicking to get my brain to function right.  It’s like I need to be shaken for the pieces to fall into the right place (do not use this technique on children).

 

So I fell down again and skinned my knees.  Time to get up and try again. I’ve got to sweeten up this lemonade. I’m tired of the pucker and jaw hurts already.

 

I must finish the revised draft of my Eroticism book by August.

I must finalize one photography project by October’s end.

I must not quit.

Hold. Me. To.  It.

I’m going in for the kill.

The Epiphany

As I’m continuing to press on with my Eroticism book rewrite at the expense of blogging, I realize that I really have become an expert on the topic of eroticism.  It is just very fucking cool that I got here.

Pussy Shadows in High School

So a Florida 16 y/o (”Jane”) didn’t wear underwear to school,  had a yearbook photo taken on a bleacher and the photographic angle exposed a shadow which apparently looks more like her pubes and she’s, of course, humiliated. The yearbook editor apparently didn’t catch the shadow and after the yearbooks have been printed, Jane’s mother wants the distribution of the yearbook stopped and reprinted without thatphoto.  To top off Jane’s problem, everyone now knows what her little Twinkie looks like and she can’t find courage to go back to school.  (video)  My mom mode is having a tough time sympathizing with Jane, though it’s fair to say it must be humiliating unless you’re Sharon Stone.

Here’s what I see:

1. Jane chose to not wear underwear to school while wearing what looks like a mini-dress.

2. Jane did this to avoid panty lines showing yet it looks like she’s wearing a somewhat flowy dress, not skintight enough to warrant hiding panty lines.

3. Jane sat on the bottom bleacher head on to the camera, knees together. 

What’s boggling me is how  this 16 y/o didn’t choose to wear know about a little panty line remover called the thong and instead chose to go sans a la panty to school.  If a thong isn’t enough to hide the panty lines then the attire is too tight for school, no? 

The last time I went without panties in a dress, it was all I could do to not think about sex: for one, the friction is different; two, like it or not there is a thing females deal with called vaginal discharge (I’ll stop there); three, unless one normally goes without underwear, such an act draws self-attention to the genitals, the skirt or dress, the possibility of a Marylin Monroe pose and definitely the way in which one must sit and carry oneself.  The latter, if little else, detracts her ability to concentrate on other things (school and work), which is one of its erotic points should the panty-less route be used intelligently.  My suggestion is to wear a knee length skirt.  The sensation is the same and the worry is minimized.  I won’t tell you how I know.

Going panty-less with a dress ignites eroticism and brings with it total body awareness.  Name it and a woman is aware of it. I find it difficult from a female perspective to see how Jane wouldn’t have experienced at least some of these sensations, many of which are sensual if not outright sexual.  For a date this is fine.  For school, not so much.  I feel her embarrassment empathetically but her unfortunate situation is part of that adult game responsibility teens just don’t get and need to: go to school without panties and deal with unforeseen consequences. 

Had Jane worn underwear and the shadow created a perception of something that wasn’t true, I think Jane may have had more confidence to laugh it off as a shadow because that’s what it would have been. Embarrassment is worse when it rests on the real truth opposed to a percieved one.  Not having seen the shadow in the picture, it’s hard to say exactly what it looks like to take a firm side but interesting here is that if this photo does in fact expose Jane’s genital area (which technically she created the means for), then the school would surely be guilty of something more than the continued distribution of “shadow porn” yearbooks.

Moral of the story? Keep your panties on ladies. If not, cross your legs.  Don’t moms teach the basics anymore?

Quote: success

To have made even one person’s life a little better, that is to succeed.” – Winston Churchill

Hog Wild About Lube

We already know women can bring home the bacon and serve it up in a pan but when those little ones eat your portion, what do you do?  How about meaty breakfast of a different kind?  Surely if you enjoy your bacon strips, you’ll enjoy bacon flavored lube.  I mean, nothin’ like a flavorful snack in the morning – or anytime you can break away.  And to think, we were stuck on strawberry.  Who knew lube could go hog wild?

Though, personally, I got more of a kick watching this taste test video than the idea of my man porking me while I think hot biscuits, scrambled eggs and pigs.  Notice the various reactions of the men and the one female in the video.  Even the brave testosterone jock eventually had his stomach turn but interesting how it looked like he enjoyed the squirt.  The female’s reaction would be mine. Bacon flavored lube in my sex world will not happen.  No offense to the squrims on this one, but the mix of bodily fluids and bacon is a flavor I can live without experiencing, same with Pussy Energy Drinks.  But, gotta give the creator some kudos for creativity.  How about mint flavored lube?  Fresh taste feeling in the throat… now there’s an idea worth creating.

The Owl and the Bear

“Who? Who?” the Owl went about. Or was it “What? What?” (Only sometimes).

“You, you,” said the bear.

“Who? You?”

“No. You, you,” repeated the bear.

“You . . . me?”

“Yes, you.  Who else?”

 

Inspired by The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff , and written on a napkin in an airplane from a business/pleasure trip which unexpectedly brought tremendous focus. I feel a little banged up, bruised by clarity but thoroughly aroused by its simplicity.  Oddly, I ought to be more confused but I’m not.  The puzzle pieces are just coming together – almost on their own – and I think it’s time to redefine my definition of effort. It’s a good thing because the weight on my shoulders had become self-induced torture.

I’m grateful for this passage in the book. . . which slapped me so hard, the sting hurt the entire flight:

…[The] incomplete and unbalanced creature divides all kinds of abstract things into little categories and compartments, while remaining rather helpless and disorganized in his daily life.  Rather than learn from … teachers and from direct experience, he learns intellectually and indirectly, from books. . . [H]is explanations of them tend to leave out some rather important details, such as how they work and where you can apply them.(pg. 25-26)

I got lost in the woods.  I think I found my way now. 

 

* Being grammar isn’t my strength, thanks  for the help on this one, Crystal.